I have had this whole pregnancy planned out and nothing has gone according to my very well put together plan. First of all I was only supposed to show pregnancy in my belly not my face and I wasn't going to have any complications. I don't know when I'll learn my lesson because nothing ever seems to go according to my plan. Heavenly Father always seems to have a different agenda for me.
It all started on Monday in WalMart. I was hustling my waddling pregnant but down an isle when I started feeling some funny pains. Then it kind of felt like a balloon was going to pop, I felt that way for about 45 minutes to an hour but then it went away and never came back.
Well with all the stress of moving again {by the way we moved to Cedar city} I didn't think much more about it. That is until I was at my doctor appoint this afternoon. I told him what happened and he decided to check me to make sure everything was okay.
{TMI? Sorry about that}
Well everything wasn't okay. It turns out that I have already started dilating, and it's a little early for that junk to start. And I had thinned 80%....that's bad news and on top or that I have a really soft cervix.
When the doctor told me what was going on I broke down and cried. I couldn't stop the flood gates and the tears started to pour. I'm not ready for this little boy to come right now! I've been preparing for a chuck of a baby not a tiny little premie. I am supposed to have 7 more weeks to get everything together for this little boy and now there is a question of how long I really have. Not to mention my worries on how this will effect the health of our little boy. I felt as if I had lost control of everything that I felt I had control of. Panic mode hit me really hard because I didn't know how to face this challenge. Thankfully Daniel was right there next to me, ready to take on this challenge together. Ready to comfort me in my time of frustration, panic, and terror.
So after a really painful shot of steroids in the hip he sent me home on modified bed rest and weekly appointments. Luckily I'm on modified bed rest which basically means I still can't do anything but I don't have to lay in bed all day and can get myself a glass of water and go to the bathroom if a I need to or I can do light activities around the house like sewing or something. But going out and shopping for the rest of the baby stuff that I need or going to Daniel's parents house to pick up our crib and other vital baby stuff that is currently in their garage 4 hours away is out of the question.
It's to bad bed rest doesn't mean I can't do homework. That's would make me a little more excited about this situation.
To all you mommas out there who have gone through this I'm sure you can agree when I say it's hard to have to depend on other people to do things you are used to doing. Such as doing a load of laundry or baking a batch of brownies.
I've never been the type of person that can stay home all day and do nothing so this is probably going to be one the greatest challenges I have ever faced but I am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband to be by my side and support me through all this.
Maybe after this experience I'll learn that planing out life just causes me stress when it goes the opposite of my plan, but that probably won't happen.
P.S. Sorry for the length of the novel I just wrote, I had to vent somewhere and that pictures has nothing to do with this. I just felt like it showed how I was feeling right now.
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